Town Cryer: Bruisin' Sistahs

High Society - by Londen van der Valk -

Hi, I'm London van der Valk and I will bring you what is hot and what not here in buzzin' Nordling. I'm quite new to the busines, but after being asked at the Tramp Ball Maskee I couldn't resist this oppurtunity (thanks daddy!).

Now, for my first subject I heared many people talkin' about a group of fanatics called the Sisters of Exemption. They seem to help poor people whereever they can (can't imagine why) and fight evil where they encounter it. In that last part they are not very good, because they lose all the time. But every time they fight, they seemed to have hit their foes so hard that they need quite some time to recover. In many taverns they are now nicknamed "The Bruisin' Sistahs" after an orc and an ogre found eachother in drunken stupor. They bickered over who had the most bruises after a fight with the girls. Some other juicy detail is that the leader of this girlband is so fat, that she can't dodge blows and therefore loses all the time. She seems to have a beautiful sparkly necklace though.

Well, this was my first subject for the Crier. I am sure you will find my report to be satisfying. If not, please visit the pub: "In the Net" where I perform regurlarly in my selfly written play: "I Suck to be Famous".

Time Out

The Sisters of Redemption have earned the first title: Bruiser. They gain 3 CP and the ability to get a +1 to wound on 1 warrior for 1 blow per battle. This also unlocks a new title: Bone Breaker. The first warband to have put 100 warriors or more out of actionwill gain 5 CP. The Orcs will gain 8 CP.

Town Cryer: Advertisements

Pit Fights

Come all to the Black Pit Settlement to witness the great spectacle of fighters arrayed for your enjoyment!
Tickets on sale behind the alley of the Red Dog tavern.
Fun for all! Bring the wife and kids!

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Staring Contest!

One Eyed Ibn of Araby invites any and all to a contest of bravery and fortitude to be held next week at noon in Cutthroat Haven. Ibn also sells interesting and strange wares from exotic places.

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Halfling Bar Maid for Hire

Expert at cooking, cleaning and "other" talents. BEER A SPECIALTY. Also good with a bow.

- Mandy Goodfellow of the Buckwine Forest at the Red Wolf Pub, Brigandsburg.

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Surgeon Opens up Shop

Did you smash your finger while using a hammer? Did wood enter your epidermis while climbing? Is your eye gauged by some unfortunate accident? I will make you feel better! You can call me Doktorrus Hackensaw. You can find me in Sigmarhaven, next to the shrine of Sigmar.

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Rules/Game mechanics:

From now on the settlements can be reached as can be seen on the Mordheim map. In the past I told everybody that the outside of Mordheim looks different than the map shows; no more! Another special rule for the settlements is that when you enter it in peace mode, you cannot be attacked by another warband. They can however refrain you from executing actions (you are hiding from them).

Town Cryer: Dwarves claim City Hall and Temple of Sigmar

A troupe of Dwarves have taken control of City Hall and the Temple of Sigmar. Several surviving bureaucrats hope they will bring some order back to their beloved city. They have urged the dwarves to reinstate the laws which once brought prosperity to Mordheim. The dwarves are hesitant to just follow the advice of the survivors and talked in their own strange language about "draagvlak". The city holds its breath for the Dwarves might bring some major changes in our desperate city. A priest of the temple (who wishes to remain anonymous) is afraid that the dwarves are just here to plunder the surroundings, without any concerns for the survivors. They seemed to have refused some faithful Reiklanders access to the temple and even fought them some time ago. "If they would only convert to Sigmar!"

Town cryer excerpt: Have you seen this orc?

Following yet another massacre in the southern districts of our fair city, we have commissioned an artist to provide us with accurate depictions of the orc band that is ravaging the Common Neighbourhood. If you see any of these creatures, please do not try and approach them and certainly do not attempt to defend your homes against the invading Horde.

Town Cryer excerpt: In Memoriam

We have just received the news that the two brothers leading the Witch hunter warband in the south of our city have both been killed in a cataclysmic battle against greenskins. Lucas Grimm, captain of the band of Templars, got his face burned off by evil chaos acid rain. Apparently the brothers Grimm did not read the previous Town Cryer's magic weather report by Erwin Khorne, specifically warning everyone to bring trollskin umbrella's...
Lucas' brother Matthew, who had lost his right arm in a previous battle, was apparently unable to defend himself and was turned into an orc shish kebab. The brothers had been surprised by the orc invasion into the common neighbourhood and were trying to protect the innocent citizens of this part of Mordheim. After the untimely death of their leaders, however, the Templars were forced to flee. The Town Cryer managed to interview Father Arnold, warrior priest: "The brothers Grimm fought bravely and were always kind to puppies, but still Sigmar chose to take them into his arms. In their honour, our band will henceforth be called The Grimm Martyrs. We will continue their quest to purge Mordheim of all evil, especially those who are mean to kittens." according to the priest.
On the positive side, the Brothers Grimm were avenged shortly after their demise by Father Arnold himself, who managed to take of the head of the Irontusk warboss with his greatsword just before making a tactical retreat. On the negative side, the remaining orcs and goblins are probably taking the loss of their leader out on the remaining citizens in the common quarter where the greenskins now reign supreme...

Town Cryer special edition

Metal Shortage Continues
The metal shortage has now truly entered our markets. Weapons and utensils are becoming scarcer by the week. Some merchants have hoarded metal, to wait out still higher prices. It's not that there isn’t enough metal itself, but the smiths and other metalworkers are the ones becoming scarce. The metalworker district is becoming empty, as many metalworkers flee the area. Many amateur metalworkers now try to work metal in their barns. Therefore many metal items are now not that reliable as they used to be.

- Game mechanic: All full metal items are 2 gc or 10% more expensive (highest cost counts) than normal, partly metal items are 1gc or 5% more expensive. Furthermore: weapons break when their to wound roll is 1. This is only for the HtH weapons bought from now on.

Muleskinner for Hire
My name is Manic Maddigan and I am looking for a steady job. You can hire me for 35 gc and need an additional 15 gc per week. I love animals, especially dogs. I can train them for guard and attack duty. I use my whip to teach them tricks. Hostile environments, no problem. I’ve had some experience working for another employer. I left my former employer, because he constantly wanted to take the dogs near large bonfires. I’d only like to work for humans, dwarves, elves, ogres and halflings. I’ll be wandering around.

- Game mechanic: He has 1 xp and has as specialization dogs. You can hire him at any time.

Grand Tournament of Rigolius
Rigolius, the travelling baron of the Nether Cities will hold a tournament in ten weeks in Mordheim. There is still a lot of speculation on who he really is, for nobody but his personal assistants have seen his face. He will use Rupert von Endon’s Amphitheatre to hold the tournament and he has promised that great prizes can be won. Please sign in at one of the following places: Brigandsburg, City Hall, Count Steinhardt’s Palace, Market Square, Mordheim University, Rich Quarter, Rupert von Endon’s Amphitheatre or Sigmarhaven. Once signed in, you will be picked up in one of the aforementioned places. Be warned, the tournament will be bloody but the rewards unbelievable. The tournament will last for 3 weeks.

- Game mechanic: Pay 1 gc for your warband at one of the places and when your warband is at one of the places at the end of turn 16 (those places are neutral terrain for that turn) you will be teleported to the Amphitheatre. Then you need to undergo a maximum of 3 tests in a row.

Town Cryer excerpt: intercepted letter

This letter was found near a bloody pulp:

Dear Hilda,

A most terrible occurance has happened. Anke, our guardian here in the common neighbourhood, was accused of witchcraft and put to the flames. Luckily a band of Sisters just arrived in time, because I warned them. They gave the Witch hunters a good smacking and freed poor Anke from a terrible death. Though Anke was freed, the Inquisition was aroused and made an accusation against Audilia, one of our beloved Matriarchs. I tell you the world is comming to an end; Sigmarites fighting Sigmarites here in Mordheim, where evil lurks in every corner. There are reports of orcs and dark elves at the south gate invading the city out of greed of this accursed stones. Why are they fighting amongst themselves, when those evil forces are so close?
I don't know what has become of Audilia and her band, they swiftly left the common neighbourhood after they freed Anke. But these are dark times for the Sisters indeed. Please, if you see Marice tell her to fetch her herbs. The ruins are no longer safe for the healers among the Sisters.
I heard one of the band members say they would go to the Rock to report and then cleanse the city from evil once and for all. I don't think this is the last we've seen of this zealot priest, nor of Audilia. Blood will fill the streets once more. I can feel it... But accusing Sisters of witchcraft goes one bridge to far!
Please publish some report in the Town Cryer (not under my name of course), for this isn't as it should be, I don't want to be the next one burning on a pyre...

Tamir of Tallow

Town cryer excerpt: Orks foil Elf plot?

(from a recent edition of the Town Cryer)

The presence of a band of Orcs within the walls of Mordheim has been well known, especially since they settled into the southern part of the city, claiming the poor quarter as their own. Small groups of goblins and squigs roam the streets, causing havoc wherever they go. Recently they made their way to the South Gate, where the Sisters of Sigmar met them to put a stop to their foul activities. The mother superior has been quoted as saying: "It was as if the hand of Sigmar himself led us to the greenskins."

From the sketchy reports we have of the battle that ensued, the Sisters were far outnumbered by the Orcs, who used trickery and underhandedness to lure them out into the open. The thick orc arrows found lodged in the brick walls of buildings are a reminder of the warlike nature of these creatures. The Sisters, who were not available for further comment, apparently suffered heavy losses and humiliation at the hands of the Orcs. But the story does not end there.

For amoungst the orc arrows where shafts of a more delicate nature. Our experts assure us that these arrows were made by none other than Elven smiths. A broken bow and what appears to be the skinned remains of a slender humanoid confirm our suspicions that in fact the orcs fought not only the Sisters of Redemption in these streets. Though their motives are unknown, a half-eaten cart suggest they may be in need of supplies. We advise anyone around the Market Place to remain on their guard for these green-skinned invaders.

Graffiti left on one of the walls, apparently in elven blood, give us a grim reminder of the brutality of these creatures:

"Rosez are red, violetz ar blu
Irontusk stomp yoo, wotcha gonna do?"

Town Cryer excerpt: Executioner's Square purged of heretics

(From an old issue of the Town Cryer, dated some weeks ago:)

Yesterday a bloody battle was fought in the south of Mordheim between the Order of the Templars of Sigmar and a clan of Ostlanders. Executioner's Square, where criminals used to be executed in front of eager crowds in the days before the disaster, was the scene of the carnage. The Templars of Sigmar, known colloquially as 'witch hunters', led by the brothers Grimm entered the square shortly after an extended family of Ostlanders had arrived, eager for the wyrdstone that lay scattered there. Naturally the righteous fury of the witch hunters was ignited when encountering these inbred followers of a false god. Their charge was almost cut short however when a rain of arrows from the mountainfolk came down upon them. Ducking into the ruins to avoid the missile fire, the brothers Grimm sent their infamous warhounds ahead to attack the flank. All was nearly lost when these encountered a huge ogre-kin who stood ready to destroy them with his sword and axe (and possibly his alcohol-laden breath as well). But then the god Sigmar himself intervened and shone his light into the eyes of the foul giant. Again and again it swung its weapons at the trustworthy hounds, but all his blows fell short. The infidel-priest of Taal tried to call upon his dark Lord for aid but Sigmar denied him access to his devilish powers. Soon the Ostlander pater familias was forced to sound the retreat, leaving two clansmen who were his sons, uncles or possibly both dead on the field and his priest badly wounded. Rumours that the witch hunters burned the mark of Sigmar into the priest's forehead with the headsman's tools found in a nearby shed remain unconfirmed. For the moment, the brothers Grimm and there witch hunters rule Executioner's Square, and it looks like they'll be staying a while.

Town Cryer excerpt: Local eccentric finds employment

(From an old issue of the Town Cryer, dated some weeks ago:)

Most Mordheim residents will remember the lone shepherd Roelof van 't Schaep often encountered in the moors to the southwest of our once fair city. This strange man, recognizable by his scraggly beard and accompanied by one or more sheep and a penetrating body odour was usually avoided by most decent travelers. Since last week, however, Van 't Schaep has become a part of the witch hunting group of the brothers Grimm that has made its way into our city to cleanse the evil from its streets. We were able to exchange a few words with the shepherd-turned-zealot while his band was resting after a skirmish in Executioner's Square (see elsewhere in this paper). "These people have changed my life," claims Van 't Schaep, "they introduced me to new concepts such as devotion to Sigmar, bathing and shaving." This is indeed illustrated by the fact that Roelof is now without his former beard and actually smells better than the sheep which is still a constant companion. "When I saw these folks in the woods I just thought I'd wander up to them and babble incoherently 'till they'd give me food, like I always did. But when I got closer, I saw they were busy burying a big dog. Later they told me this doggie had been chopped up by some nasty midgets on a bridge. Since I really love animals, and they had lots of other doggies, I decided to help them. Father Arnold gave me a firm sermon about our great Lord Sigmar and that's when I saw the light and joined them for real. Luckily they allowed me to bring my favourite sheep along with me." At this, Van 't Schaep goes into a long monologue on the merits of his sheep which is not suitable for publication. "Anyway," he concludes, "I thought the brothers Grimm only wanted me as a bodyguard, but when I got a piece of wyrdstone for 'em and had this vision from Sigmar that showed me that secret passage, they immediately promoted me. Now I'm in charge of the inventory and supplies for the whole warband. Like this cheese for example...". Some folks may miss the rustic charm shepherd Van 't Schaep brought to the southwestern moors, but we can all be heartened by the fact that he is now putting himself to good use for the Templars of Sigmar.